We registered Ashlynn for her sophomore year in high school today. As I waited behind her as she took her picture for her school ID, I reflected a little. Staring at this young woman taking a picture at her high school, I some flashbacks of the journey.
Before, just a few short years ago, she would have needed me to help her talk to the photographer. I would have had to explain to the photographer that she has a motor planning disorder which makes it difficult to smile. I would have physically gone into the space with her rather than staying back. I would have helped her onto this stool to ensure she didn’t fall off of it since it doesn’t have a back. I would have gone home and wondered if it were always to be like that.
Walking through the school she recognized many teachers and staff who all smiled at her and had a short conversation. I only had to help her once when she experienced an apraxia freeze about what she did over the summer. My hint of “cruise” was all she needed to be off and running talking about it.
So much has changed since those early years, and yet so much still remains the same. She has become more independent and she can certainly talk your ear off! Everyone she talks to can understand her. She has made her way in the world, forging relationships I didn’t have to help her make. Even leaving a classmate called out “what up Ashlynn? Good to see you!” These little moments can be big enough to me to bring tears to my eyes.
Ashlynn’s social high school experience has been amazing so far, and I have no doubt it will be great again this year. From unified cheerleading, to basketball, to poms, to track and field, homecoming and more, she truly lives her best life, disability or not. That’s actually though one of the things that has stayed the same. Even when Ashlynn couldn’t speak, she would peak out of her door with a huge smile and attack the day with the same enthusiasm. So many obstacles to overcome, she never wavered. And because I watched this tiny but strong girl attack life this way, I realized I needed to do the same.
Had it not been for Ashlynn, I never would have been determined to specialize in CAS. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I would never have gone into private practice. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I never would have thought about the need to spread apraxia awareness. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I never would have written a book. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I would not be giving podcasts, workshops, conferences or consultations on CAS. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I wouldn’t be on the professional advisory board for The Apraxia Foundation. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I wouldn’t be planning The Denver Apraxia Fall Festival. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I would have always played it safe. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I never would have taken risks. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I would have never known what it’s like to be someone’s person. Had it not been for Ashlynn, I would not be for the better a completely changed person.
Have fun my love! I know you’re going to have another great year. Not because I have a crystal ball, but because past proves future. I’ve had almost 16 years of watching your quiet determination and big beautiful smile. I know for a fact you aren’t going to stop now. You’re such a gift and may you always know your worth.